Mastering the Situation

I am not a friend to all animals, like someone else in my family.  His nickname really is "Friend to All Animals".  If you're in the family, you'll know who I mean.  He is quite modest, so he won't want to be mentioned by his real name.  I am not sure how he would have handled the unwanted hitch-hiker, but I will tell you how I Mastered the Situation.

Girl8 (you may know her as the Band Aid Nazi) and I were headed up to Seattle for some school-is-out kind of fun, as well as pre-birthday sort of fun.  You know the kind I mean:  The Space Needle, the Science Center, the Monorail, the food, the Space Needle.  It is 80 miles of singing, talking, playing I Spy, and more singing.  Our song of choice right now is I'll Be Loving You Always, which has been done by George Michael and also Stevie Wonder, but we like an acapella group called the Euphorics.

We were driving around the Science Center, looking for a parking spot when It Happened.  A mouse popped up from under the hood of my car!  It came out right under the windshield wiper and looked at me.  I suppose I squealed something cliche, like, "eek!  A MOUSE!" and then I turned on the windshield wiper, trying to prevent it from running back under the hood.  I was hoping that I would flick it right into the street, but it ran up the windshield on to the roof.  I pulled in to a NO PARKING ANY TIME spot.  Girl8 and I looked around, our heads spinning like tops.  I was afraid the mouse had snuck back into a hiding spot, but Girl8 spotted him through the moon roof.  I jumped out of the car.  Running around the car in circles, chasing that mouse reminded me of the defensive drills we used to do in basketball.  I shuffled to the right, then back to the left.  I clapped my hands and shouted when the mouse got near the opening under the hood.  There was a string of cars stopped in the street, the passengers had their faces pressed to the windows.

"Find me a stick!", I shouted at Girl8.  I was hoping for that ice scraper that had been sitting on the floor for the past eight months.  Ironically we had cleaned out the car that morning.  There was no stick to be found, so she picked up a floppy pencil.  From my vantage point it looked like she was waving a green piece of licorice.  No weapon with which to flick the mouse off the car, I took off my shoe.

Pause for a moment, Dear Reader.  Mentally transport yourself to that city street.  The day is overcast, not particularly warm, but not raining.  You are driving along, minding your own business when you come upon a car on the side of the street.  A woman is running around and around the car, darting hither and thither, waving her shoe in one hand.  A mouse is racing back and forth across the top of her car.  A child is inside the car, screeching.  Imagine what that would look like and enjoy that thought for a moment.

Back to me and my predicament.  The window of opportunity presented itself and I whisked the mouse into the gutter.  The woman in the first car in the line of stopped cars applauded heartily.  I think I heard her shouting, "OLE!"  I took one more look toward the curb to make sure that the mouse was indeed on the ground and not back on the car, hopped into my shoe and skipped around to the door.  Jumping in, I put the car in gear and roared away.  That is what I call Mastering the Situation.