Since Girl13.75 was in the single digits, she has felt no qualms about being in my bubble. This means lounging on my lap, sleeping in my bed, being at my side nearly every minute of every day. I am certainly not saying this is a bad thing. Put your eyebrow down, Dear Reader.
However, there are a few moments during the day when a person would like a smidgen of privacy. The bathroom is a realm in which those moments occur. I call them Private Moments. Sometimes I would have to shoo Girllessthan10 away, shouting, "I am having a Private Moment here!" For some reason I have not been able to instill the notion of privacy into Girl13.75's head. This short post is to chronicle some of the more outrageous, and YES, TRUE! things that she has said to me IN THE BATHROOM while I was having a Private Moment.
"Do you know where my socks are?" I cannot tell you how many times this, or a variation of this, has happened.
"Does my outfit match?" Ditto.
"Can you braid my hair?" That is gonna be a no, Dawg.
"Hoover has thrown up a really long piece of grass and it is all red!" Hoover is our 22 pound cat. Truth be told, this happened about two weeks ago, when she was Girl13.70. Fear not, Delicate Reader, Hoover had been eating grass outside, as cats do, and then came in and tried to eat dry cat food. Connoisseurs of cat food will know that often times that food is red, or brownish red. You can probably put this together without my assistance.
"Can you sign my practice record?" This is the proof that she practices her saxophone every day during the week and must be signed by me and turned in to her teacher.
"What is for dinner?" Really?
(At 6 am within the past year) "Your nightie is on backwards." I replied, "I don't need that kind of negativity."
The classic spoiler of Private Moments, the one to which I compare all the rest on the list: "Does this milk smell bad?" Yes, Disgusted Reader, she brought it in with her.
Please note that not one of these situations necessitated my immediate attention.
If you will excuse me, I have some business to take care of.
