I like music. I was in the percussion section for seven years in the school band. I listened to the radio every day on the bus, to and from school. Except for those three months when I rode my bike. I have been to many a concert and boogie and blues fest. I am taking piano lessons vicariously through Girl8. Here is my truth: I cannot understand the words of most songs. Along with my supporting evidence below, I have provided a link to each song so you can listen for yourself.
When I was a kid, the song Dream Weaver, by Gary Wright, became a top hit. It was on the radio constantly, and was always stuck in my head. Unfortunately, neither I nor my mom could understand the lyrics. We thought we could, though, and to this day we still sing "Tray Weebah" to the Dream Weaver melody.
Foreigner belted out a song called Urgent. I only know part of the chorus: "Urgent, Urgent.... Emergency!" I cannot tell you what the rest of the lyrics are, but I imagine that it is about someone who needs a bathroom in the most serious way.
Hungry Eyes, by Eric Carmen, became popular with the movie Dirty Dancing. I blame the bad grammar, "I feel the magic between you and I", for the fact that I can only remember that line and no others from this toe-tapping tune.
I do know most of the words to Walk Away, Renee, a hit for the Four Tops in 1968. This is because my dad and I laid on the floor with our heads next to the speaker of the record player, which was cranked up, and played that 33 over and over again until we learned all of the words. I have had exceptional hearing ever since.
After Girl8 and I watched Shrek, we were enchanted by the Smashmouth song, All Star. We couldn't get it out of our heads. I had the Astro Lounge CD, so we listened to it in the car for days on end, learning the lyrics. It is such a fast-paced song that I don't think either one of us ever got through it without at least one mistake. I had the same experience with Two Princes by the Spin Doctors. I love the songs with the fast patter, but I just am not able to keep up with them.
With my poor track record, I can't really believe that in the song When the Big One Comes by the Euphorics, they are singing something about "with a can of tuna, underneath my bum", but I sing it anyway.
Hootie and the Blowfish sing a song called "Only Wanna Be With You". Darius Rucker croons, "And I wonder why I'm such a baby, 'cause the Dolphins make me cry" before he launches back into the chorus. It made no sense to me that he would be singing about the Miami Dolphins, so I assumed he was singing "'cause endorphins make me cry".
I listen to a lot of music in Spanish. Often people ask me, "What are they saying?", or "What are they singing about?" Obviously they don't know me very well. If I can't understand the words of songs in English... I have no idea what is being sung about in Spanish, other than the hint I get from the title, which I read on the CD case.
Mostly I just mouth the words I know and hum along with the rest. I may shout out one word that I know in the midst of a lot of "mmmhunnm hnmuuhmm". Usually Girl8 knows the song and I have to ask her what they are saying, or, more often than not, she corrects me. The one instance that she is not impressed with my musical ability and knowledge of lyrics is when she is practicing the piano.
Generally I know the words to her piano songs, and just this week I have been wowing her by singing along to her Christmas song, "Joy to the World". NOT. Yes I do know the lyrics, and it is not the one with Jeremiah the Bull Frog. I am definitely not wowing her. It seems like the people you want to impress the most are always the ones least impressed. It is really a pity, too, because I could knock her socks off with my rendition of the 1880s hit, "Polly Wolly Doodle".
SHE THINKS SHE IS THE BOSS OF ME!
Intuitive and detail-oriented reader, you know my profession. You know that all day long I am in a position of authority, and in that position I am giving orders with hardly a second thought. In my own small corner of the universe, I am in charge of the Future, and on my watch, the Future is acquiring some social skills. By Gum! In my zeal to promote good behavior, I fear that it has spread to the other corners of my universe, in which my enthusiasm may not be so appreciated.
Due to the nature of my job, I have no problem handing a sniffling, perfect stranger a Kleenex. I may even murmur encouragingly, "Here. Blow your nose." A person with the hiccups will hear me snarl, "Go get a drink of water!" I am the first to shush a noisy crowd when a speaker is struggling to be heard, and I will not hesitate to shout out, "Down in front!", or "Sit down!" to people blocking the view of others. In that same venue I will insist that people raise their hands to address the speaker, and I will endeavor to assist the elocutionist in calling on people who are behaving appropriately. I apologize if I have ever snapped at you, "Don't interrupt!", or worse, "Don't talk when I am talking!". It is all I can do to not order grownups back to the bathroom and demand that they "Wash with soap!" At fast food restaurants I feel a strong inclination to remind patrons to bus their own dishes, and I don't mind adding, "Don't forget that napkin under your chair!" Without thinking, I will give notice to a gum chewer that "I don't want to see it, smell it, or hear it!"
I am not a particularly desirable party guest, as I have been heard to tell boisterous adults to "Use your inside voice!" I unwittingly will remind a person "Excuse me!", if in my presence he burps or erupts in some other sort of bodily function. With the same spirit, I have caught myself barking, "Don't talk with your mouth full!", and, "What do you say?", comes out of my mouth when one receives a gift or compliment from another. "Say it, don't spray it" is also reportedly in my repertoire. Don't worry if there is no room at the table for you, because I will rectify the problem by directing everyone else to "Scootch over!"
Forgiving Reader, it is a curse that I, and some of my fellow teachers, bear every day. I know you will understand if you hear me reminding someone to eat his dinner before asking for dessert, and you will not hold it against me if you catch me sternly counting to five, accompanied by a veiled threat of a spanking.
Now, stop rolling your eyes, take your feet off of that desk, and get back to work.
Due to the nature of my job, I have no problem handing a sniffling, perfect stranger a Kleenex. I may even murmur encouragingly, "Here. Blow your nose." A person with the hiccups will hear me snarl, "Go get a drink of water!" I am the first to shush a noisy crowd when a speaker is struggling to be heard, and I will not hesitate to shout out, "Down in front!", or "Sit down!" to people blocking the view of others. In that same venue I will insist that people raise their hands to address the speaker, and I will endeavor to assist the elocutionist in calling on people who are behaving appropriately. I apologize if I have ever snapped at you, "Don't interrupt!", or worse, "Don't talk when I am talking!". It is all I can do to not order grownups back to the bathroom and demand that they "Wash with soap!" At fast food restaurants I feel a strong inclination to remind patrons to bus their own dishes, and I don't mind adding, "Don't forget that napkin under your chair!" Without thinking, I will give notice to a gum chewer that "I don't want to see it, smell it, or hear it!"
I am not a particularly desirable party guest, as I have been heard to tell boisterous adults to "Use your inside voice!" I unwittingly will remind a person "Excuse me!", if in my presence he burps or erupts in some other sort of bodily function. With the same spirit, I have caught myself barking, "Don't talk with your mouth full!", and, "What do you say?", comes out of my mouth when one receives a gift or compliment from another. "Say it, don't spray it" is also reportedly in my repertoire. Don't worry if there is no room at the table for you, because I will rectify the problem by directing everyone else to "Scootch over!"
Forgiving Reader, it is a curse that I, and some of my fellow teachers, bear every day. I know you will understand if you hear me reminding someone to eat his dinner before asking for dessert, and you will not hold it against me if you catch me sternly counting to five, accompanied by a veiled threat of a spanking.
Now, stop rolling your eyes, take your feet off of that desk, and get back to work.
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