Now that I have challenged you to rush out and find yourself an awesome pair of sparkly-butt jeans, I feel obligated to share some pertinent information regarding your new purchase.
It turns out that sparkly-butt jeans are not the be-all and the end-all (I could keep up the puns all day). As you are delighting in your diamond-decorated derriere, you may not be aware of the damage it is capable of doing. As you are reveling in the reflection of your rhinestoned rump, it's possible that you aren't respecting the ravage that can be realized.
I'm talking about upholstery! I'm referring to your great-grandmother's wooden chairs! They must be harbored from those hardwared heinies. Case in point: my friend had company at her house one day. They both had bedecked behinds. (I know what you are thinking, that they were both women. WRONG! Men are jumping on the beveled bum bandwagon, too! This was a man and a woman.) When they left, my friend noticed that her beautiful wooden chairs were scratched to high heaven! The cause? The trinketed tushes of the two! They had squirreled their sequined seats around so much that the chairs were spoiled.
Do you have heirloom furniture with delicate, irreplaceable upholstery? Do you have a leather couch or recliner? How about leather seats in your car? All of these could be blemished by a baubled breech. One scratch on the leather, one rip of that silk, one snag of the fabric is all it takes. No longer will you be admiring those allotrope asses. As your friends and acquaintances stock up on sparkly-butt jeans, you will be investing in an acrylic-coated, woven polyester fabric (I recommend one called TOP GUN, manufactured by Marchem CFI, and no, I don't own stock. Yet.) which is tear, abrasion, and puncture resistant. As this comes in a wide variety of popular colors, you will have no trouble stitching seat covers for all of your furniture, to protect it from the pearled posteriors of fashion.
My challenge to you still stands. I am still rooting for you to find your sparkly-butt jeans before they become available in the outlets (you know what that means! If you don't, go back and read Outletmania.). Just make informed decisions about where you sit and who is allowed to sit on your furniture.
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