Why is starting out so hard? Not just starting the blog, and the questions of what to write, how much to reveal, what to talk about on the first day, but starting anything. Starting a new job, starting back to your job after vacation, starting new projects... Is it the fear of the unknown, fear of failure, or the worry of screwing up so much that it will take more effort to clean up the mess than it did to actually start?
As this is the first entry, consider this a dry run. I'll start by telling you a little about myself.
I am a single parent, learning how to raise a spirited, smart daughter. I say learning because Sofie is my first and only, and every day is a new experience. She's been in drama camp for the past two weeks, I'm slightly suspicious that she's giving out tips on how to Save the Drama for Your Mama.
She is like no one in our family ever was as a child: she is sassy, independent, strong-willed. Not to say that the rest of us were namby-pamby pushovers, but we were the quiet, obedient types that ate all of the dinner on our plates so we could have dessert. My daughter will make a conscious decision about finishing her dinner based on what is for dessert. We'll talk more about spirited later. I love being a mom, I have loved every age, and I wouldn't trade it for anything.
Being the only adult in the house means that I have to do everything. By "do everything", I mean more than cooking and cleaning (not high on my priority list, by the way). Taking out the garbage, cleaning the gutters, spraying Round Up around the house, chopping wood, hauling wood, bringing wood into the house, chasing wild animals out of the garage (that's a whole other post) - those also fall on to my side of the chore list. Mow the lawn, weed-eat, water the garden that I planted, fix a hole in the wall, oil the garage door, hang pictures and hooks, install water saving devices in the bathroom, paint rooms, fix electronic devices, change the tire on the lawnmower - I have done all of these. Of course after completing an especially challenging job, I do get to race around the house with my arms in the pose of a champion, shouting "who can fix anything? MAMA!!! Who's number ONE??? MAMA!!" This does lead to a problem when there comes along something that I cannot fix. Because then the statement is thrown out there: "But Mama, I thought you could fix anything!" Oh dear. That list is also long, the list of things I cannot fix: hanging cupboards, re-attaching the towel rod after someone hung on it like monkey bars, plumbing is something I refuse to touch, the exploding lawnmower, dull lawnmower blades, cleaning the chimney, repairing the mess under the sink that has something to do with a mystery leak and something to do with a rotting board - culminating in all of the things under the sink sliding back and down towards the wall. Those things I have to hire out for. And that is another thing on my chore list.
I enjoy baking. I do not consider it a chore at all. I enjoy it so much that for the birthdays of certain in-laws, I give them a certain number of cakes for the year (usually 5 is a good number). I keep track of how many they have in their "accounts" and when they feel hungry, they call me up and order a cake. They have lists of my repertoire, and we have marked on the list which cake is the favorite of which person, and which cake can be optionally frosted, etc. I have an old Pillsbury cake cookbook from the 80s (I bought it as an impulse buy near the cash register) which is the one I use the most. It has Dixie Spice Cake with Caramel Frosting, Banana Snack Cake (my signature cake), Anytime Oatmeal Cake, Banana Gingerbread with Cream Cheese Frosting, Orange Carrot Cake with Cream Cheese Frosting, Jellybean Cake... it's wonderful. I also have a favorite Martha Stewart recipe: Triple Chocolate Brownie Cupcakes. I wrote it down on scraps of paper one day when I was watching TV. I have practically made a shrine out of those yellow papers, the cupcakes are so good. Last year I found a recipe for Green Tomato Cake. I know it sounds hideous, but WOW it's good! You don't even know there are tomatoes in it! It's basically a spice cake. Just like you might make a carrot cake, or zucchini bread - it's no different. People can never guess the mystery ingredient! Here's the deal about baking, though: I don't bake for myself. I know that I would eat the whole thing and then where would I be? Out of a wardrobe. So I only bake for people who like to eat my wares.
So what will I blog about? Baking, hauling wood, fixing stuff, raising a 7-year old, bird watching, road trips, camping ..... starting is the hardest part!
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