STYLIN'

Being the loyal reader that you are, you have closely studied all of that Sparkly Butt Jeans drama that I have written about (the famous SB Challenge, the hazards of SB jeans, my near failure at the challenge, and finally, thankfully, the last installment.  Or so you thought.).  You were rightfully relieved when I had worn out my nibs writing about sparkly butts.  You never wanted me to pen about pompis ever again, no more writing about rears, addressing asses or drafting derrieres.  However, Alert Reader, you know that the date of The Event is approaching.

The Event where it all began.  The first challenge was issued after attending the Event, and since then, another gauntlet has been flung in my direction.  I remind you of the Boots Bet.  Just when I thought I was All That, and then I looked around the room and realized I needed boots to be All That.  I already know, sadly, that this year when I wear my SB jeans and some tricked out black boots from Holland, that I will not be All That.  It is a new year, people, and style doesn't wait around for me to borrow boots from my mom.

I have been nervously checking the fashion magazines in the grocery store checkout lines.  What will the new fashion be?  I have been closely monitoring my young friends on Facebook to see what it is they spend their mad money on, and I have stalked them on Pinterest to find out what it is that they covet.  For a long time, I thought that Tom's were a brand of jeans.  Thankfully I did not have the opportunity to make a fool of myself before discovering that they are really those shoes everyone wore in Spain in the '80's.  I was not impressed with espadrilles twenty five years ago, either.

I fear that the Spring's poor weather is stifling the natural development of mode.  I do not believe that true fashion includes fleece lined slippers, ballet flats or yoga pants (please hold your comments about my yoga pants - that was my TRAVEL attire, Snarky Reader).  I have been waiting in limbo, waiting for nice weather to prime the pump of style and vogue.  Sunshine has not accompanied the arrival of Spring.  Besides turning the heaters up another notch, I am vacillating between down jackets and light sweaters, corduroy pants and pastel capris, all the time knowing that none of these has a place in the current trend.  The only things I am sure of is that my jeans are still sparkly and I lost the bet.